Grief and Spirituality

 



By Christine Sandor

Crisis of most any kind brings our spirituality to the forefront of our world. The death and loss of a loved one is a traumatic time and one during which we often turn to our spirituality for support. Witnessing or experiencing another’s passing is a harsh reminder of our own mortality and can easily induce questions about our own life’s worth. Our spiritual beliefs provide a meaning, if you will, to the dying process and death itself. It is through these beliefs that comfort is often found.

The term "spirituality," does not necessarily refer to the religion with which you identify. Though certainly spirituality and religion are often viewed as one and the same, they are just as often seen as complete opposites. There is a broader meaning. Spirituality, for many, can consist of one’s relationships, meanings that are given to life and death, and one’s passion, commitments, and connections. For some, religion is where they go to church or temple, whereas spirituality may be found in nature, meditation, or a personal relationship with a named or unnamed higher power. It’s not necessarily a creed—it is a way of being.

Understanding how we make sense of life helps us tremendously in how we make sense of death. There is a connection between the places in which we have found meaning in our world and what we perceive to be the meaning of the end of life as we know it. Those places and situations can change throughout our lives, as well. What you knew and believed as a child may not be what you adhere to now. It is helpful to look at how you have progressed and changed on your own spiritual journey—and what changed you.

The death of a loved one suddenly reminds us of our own mortality. It is a time at which we seem to automatically consider what really happens after death. We find ourselves thinking about what really does happen when the body ceases to function. Our spiritual understanding is the only resource we have at this time, as we certainly don’t have personal experience to help us. Unless you are among those who have had a near-death experience yourself, knowing whether there is an after-life and what it is like is based solely on what our religious background and current belief system have suggested.

Often it is our spiritual beliefs that decrease our anxiety and fears about death. Embracing your beliefs and spirituality can ease your worries.

Prayer is an important piece of this process. If we think in terms of our thoughts being prayers to the Universe, we are always praying! There is, of course, absolutely nothing wrong with folding our hands, kneeling down, and asking the God of our beings to assist us and others. Prayer in this manner is perhaps more beneficial for us. What we are doing when we pray for help, is turning our problems over to the Divine. There comes a time when we are so overwhelmed that turning it over to God is precisely what we need to do. Experiencing grief is one of those times.

As part of the healing process, having a place to take these feelings and express them helps us to not always have to hold onto them, especially when they become too overpowering. The act of "giving it over to God" can be a powerful release for many. In some religions there are specific prayers for the dead. In Jewish tradition, for instance, the Kaddish, also known as the "The Mourners’ Kaddish," is said as part of the mourning rituals in services, as well as at funerals and memorials. In other traditions, the 23rd Psalm is often recited, or a rosary is said. Some feel that prayer is one of the greatest acts of charity that can be given for the departed. It certainly has the ability to relieve anxiety and even depression.

Grief is a difficult process. By turning to God of our being, our Spiritual understanding, we are able to seek guidance on the road to healing.